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Here's some advice from Professional Matchmaker and Singles
Consultant Zella Case.
The Rules of the Dating Game
An excerpt from Dating 101 by Melissa Darney with Zella Case
- Be happy—your amour will love to be around you.
- Be flirtatious—you will keep your lover interested.
- Be sprightly and unattainable—everyone wants the butterfly that
can't be caught.
- Don't be available all the time— remember, it's not necessary to
explain what you've been doing every hour you've been apart.
- Be easy, breezy and fun—you'll be irresistible.
- Always end a date or a phone conversation on a high note—it will keep your lover
wanting more.
- Let your lover think that you're the one who needs to be reeled in—you'll be appreciated more.
TWELVE TIPS FOR FINDING THE RIGHT RELATIONSHIP
By Randolph Crew, MA, LPCI, Professional Matchmaker
- Love yourself first. If you don't love and respect yourself, you will tend to
attract others who don't love or respect you. If necessary, seek counseling.
- Get social. Just as you would when you're looking for a new job or a new house, take
action. Don't wait for fate to deliver the right person to your door.
- Question your existing attitudes about who is right for you. Think outside the box and
consider all the options in age, height, weight, education, income, etc.
- Put as much emphasis on compatibility as you do on chemistry. Lust has a life span of
13 weeks. Similar values and compatible energy last a lot longer.
- Be, and seek, a good communicator. Learn to ask open-ended questions. Express an
interest in the things the other person finds interesting.
- Be a positive person. Do not complain. Do not criticize. Positive energy is sexy.
- Be honest. Playing games is self-defeating. Have the courage and self-confidence to
be forthright.
- Approach each new relationship possibility with a light, curious attitude. Desperation
and neediness are not attractive. Enjoy the journey.
- First, make a new friend. Discover each other intellectually, emotionally, and
spiritually before jumping to the physical.
- Be as physically attractive as possible. Exercise and eat right. A healthy body
says you care about yourself.
- Network. Ask your friends and acquaintances to be on the lookout for you.
- Consciously break your old pattern. Fifty percent of first marriages end in divorce and
60% of second marriages end the same way. Review your past relationship history, note the
pattern, and learn to prevent yourself from repeating the pattern. Most of us will need
professional help for this, but it must be done.
As you apply these 12 tips, remember that the dating/mating process happens in two phases.
The first phase, the "attraction phase" is the easy part. Women take only a few minutes to
decide if they are attracted to a male. For men to decide if they are attracted to a female
takes even less time—three seconds by one study in California.
The second phase, the "compatibility phase" is the hard part. This takes weeks, months,
sometimes years, and usually a heavy investment in money and emotional capital. That's
why professional matchmakers are a good investment. Through testing, interest surveys,
and time-proven intuition, professionals can predict compatibility before their clients meet.
The rest, the attraction phase, is up to the clients and can usually be decided in an
introduction and one date. Matchmaking is the world's second oldest profession for a
reason—it is the most efficient and painless way to find a mate.
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